Tibetan monks, 3 ‘lucky goals’, idiot commentators and drawing with West Brom

More from the ‘bitter and twisted’ …

West Brom’s first goal is a fluke. A lopping, mindless, over the shoulder cross that manages to loop over Marshall while the crowd are still taking their seats and checking the program notes.

Their second is an attempted cross which deflects off a Cardiff player over the defence and somehow lands at a West Brom attackers feet. Matej Vydra gains the easiest ‘assist’ since a dad rolled the ball to the feet of his two year old son to stumble over the line.

the kid who might have started the fight back

With only ten minutes on the clock, not only did Cardiff look dead  and buried but the mourners were polishing off the dried up sandwiches, shaking their heads and saying he weren’t such a bad old sod.

Then Cardiff woke up, the way a teenager might be dragged from his cozy bed at eleven in the morning. Reluctantly and slowly the wheels were refitted to the team in red and the battering of the Baggies goals recommenced.

Mutch scored a goal straight out of the Brazilian handbook of the 1970s. Thirty five yards out, with so much time a Tibetan monk would have looked rushed, he lined up a sublime curling shot out of the reach of the England international goalkeeper Ben Foster. A wonder goal that the tv commentator perceptively described as the third lucky goal of the match. Twat.

Solskjaer performed his usual touch of creating further anxiety in Cardiff supporters, who are already beyond the help of any therapist, by taking off a defender and putting on an out and out striker (Zaha for the Fabio). Surely too early boss?

 

The onslaught began. The meters once showing West Brom with nearly all the possession seesawed the other way. Cardiff not only had the ball but seemed to have acquired composure. Caulker puts away a header that will add another million to his value when the season finishes.

Two all, with Cardiff dominating play with a nonstop attack. City supporters know just one thing: West Brom will score in the last minute of injury time. As sure as eggs are, well, a possible carrier of salmonella.

Yep.

In the 94th minute Bifouma Koulossa, (that isn’t a typo or an unfortunate collection of scrabble letters), scores the expected last ditch goal to crush the souls of the Bluebirds. Just as we knew, just as we always expected. So we are defeated by two jammy goals and one scored with the last kick

But this is football. 

The referee has the whistle in his mouth, city attack, the ball goes into the penalty area and, take your hands off your eyes, Daehli scores a goal that might, whisper it quietly, just might, keep us up.

So before you can say how the fucking hell did Crystal palace beat Chelsea to get a nostril above the water line, Cardiff find themselves 3 points behind West Brom and move up to third from bottom. If we get three more wins I reckon we could be safe, it might even take two.

Get your quack to check your heart and ready yourself for the must win Crystal Palace match.