Cardiff's Next Manager, Moustaches and Peaked Caps.

Goodbye Ole. Just as this blog predicted the home loss to Huddersfield meant that nice guy Ole would be scanning the sits vacant columns of the Western mail. As I said I am calling for his head but wish him well in the future. There will, I hope, be a big cheer if it is announced he has come back to watch a match.

But as we know, it wasn’t the losses against Norwich and Huddersfield that was the problem it was their manner. We didn’t trouble the Huddersfield keeper in 90 minutes of idealess football. That was soul destroying.

So who next. 

The obvious target would be Vincent Tan. A bit left field I know. He has never managed a football team. But he and the owner would get on very well and would see eye to on every detail of the matches. The trouble is I have to rule him out because he lives in Malyasia and has a 1950’s moustache. No manager wears a 1950’s moustache since they were outlawed by FIFA when Jan 1^st 1960 came around.

Can you see what rules the other Vincent out from being manager?

So if not the obvious target than who? Clearly it has to be Tony Pulis, a guy who worked wonders at Stoke followed by nothing short of a Biblical miracle at Palace where he turned them from favourites for demotion into a top ten side. He also already wears a peaked cap, a necessity at the Cardiff City stadium since they installed a hundred runway landing lights around the ground. All of which glare straight down into the fans eyes. At any given time at the Cardiff City Stadium there are at least 500 blinded fans.

what Cardiff City fans actually see at night matches

So, he has the record and the cap, but he thinks a premier league side will come knocking on his door. I know, I know. Not wishing to disillusion anyone with their head’s full of impossible dreams but Premier league sides will not take on a man who has left two clubs following disagreements with the owners. Mainly cos it is owners who appoint and pay the wages of the manager. Cardiff City fan’s know, some manager’s forget this.  Not mentioning Malky's name.

Disagreement with the owners. Ha. Well. Let us rule out Tony Pulis then.

Neil Lennon wants it. Well he is Scottish and to manage in the premier league you best be either Scots or from the Euro zone. 

Neil is the opposite of Ole. Ole is a guy who appears to be amiable and is loved by everyone while Neil doesn’t give a running fuck what you think of him. Neil is the sort of person who would get upset if he couldn’t cause a fight. He was not a man to let a few hundred years sectarian strife get in the way of him making points to Rangers fans. I think he is the only manager in the world to be assaulted and threatened by bombs and death. I hear that ISIS turned him down as being too bloody minded to serve as a soldier for them. 

So we would need Neil to put on his best jacket and meet mister Tan without gobbing on the carpet, thumping mister Tan’s children whilst all the time pretending he can get on with advice from outside his office.

Hmmm. Let us rule Neil out then.

neil lennon proposing to his wife

Now I am struggling. Tim Sherwood appears to be insane, though that is the single most sought after requirement of a football manager. What other sort of sensible person would want the job? What did you say? Hey? Ole got 3 million quid for resigning? Scribblingscribe thinks of all the Clark’s pies and pints of Brains he could buy and admits, ah, I see why people want the job.

Was I alone in being impressed with what David Kerslake achieved in his two matches in charge? He turned Malky’s defensive minded team into a spirited attacking squad, taking the game to Arsenal at the Emirates. But for a certain referee, whose watch had stopped, he would have won his first match against Sunderland. So maybe we don’t need a ‘been there/seen it/done it’ type. Maybe, just maybe Gabbidon and Young can get things moving again. They surely couldn’t be worse?

But have they got their own peaked caps?